#11 Crush

Hello.

Can you believe how hard is it to be a boy who likes boys out there? So damn hard that I can't even. Only old men are interested in you because you're young or they want to fuck your ass. Of course there is men who appreciate me but they are usually old and I want someone from my age but the problem is that in internet - there is no boys from my age or I have no interest in them.

I even can't go to someone and just say "I like you" if I don't know are they gay or not because it would be really embarrassing and stuff like that, its a freaking taboo!

And then some other subjects. I don't know why but these past few days I have felt like I have to go to toilet to take the two but then when I finally go there I don't need to, its really annoying. Also I couldn't wash my ass because I believe that there is a wound or something because I get blood in my toilet paper. Because of the wound - it hurts when I put it close to my a-hole.

Have you by the way noticed how amazingly exciting it is when you spray shower water to your balls? It was such an turn on for me, each time I sprayed it it gave me shock through my cock and it seemed like it grew to its full length. Also massaging your cock whit the shower felt really nice.

Now my gay porn business ended. Instagram shut down my gay porn profile and there is no point of doing another one. I had almost 400 posts and almost 600 followers, it felt really good to be famous even thought my pictures got only 20 likes. Seriously followers what he fuck is your problem? Would you mind liking the pics when you have followed? I get the same result with my personal account and it only has almost 100 followers, I don't these followers at all.

And for the end: 2NE1 is my all time favourite band and they made a comeback with a brand new album. I don't get it why there is no their singles but at least we got 10 new songs! My favourites are Crush, MTBD and Scream but all of them are great songs. Can't wait for the music videos.

#10 Here We Go

Hello.

Monday started normally. I woke up and did my morning things and went to school. This school day was luckily easy, nothing hard. When I was in class and I had some extra time I decided to scroll down Twitter and there I saw that Teen Top will have Europe concert's and one of them is held in Moscow.

I could easily go there by train but I would want my mum to join me since she speaks Russian and that she would pay stuff for me, I would also like my brother to join us, maybe not for the concert but for the trip. Its been a long time since we visited Russia. I hope that 2NE1 will release their Europe dates if they even will have one because I would prefer 2NE1 over Teen Top. Will see.

Later on this evening there was a movie on TV called The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. There was this one hot scene where the main actor Brendan Fraser took ice bag and pushed it against his balls, that was really hot. I also want to this one guy to answer me on Tinder, I guess he hearted me because we were a match but last time he was in Tinder was 3 days ago. I also feel that this one boy really wants to hook up with me because he all the time comes back even if I push the cross on him.

Tuesday was a really nice day because I saw my crush in the school and he was wearing a cap. He looked so damn cute with it and he even walked by me two times, in my opinion he kinda looks like Minsoo (the guy in that picture). Its good that I found out his name so I don't have to call him "the cutie boy" anymore.

One thing I couldn't understand today. We had to present our discourse about The Great Barrier Reef in English class and my team mates didn't want to present it first. Since when has it been such a big deal? It was very short and it didn't include any hard words or anything, I don't get it.

And soon my application video will be ready to be uploaded on YouTube and I hope that I will be selected to be in that dance & singing group. I wasn't happy with the video but I hope its enough.

#9 Enough Of This Shit

Hello.

So, first of all about those "lover boys" I wrote about earlier - they are freaking idiots. My mind changed and I decided to not to meet Lukas or John. I wanted to get to know more with Lukas and that meant that I couldn't meet him. And he wasn't interested to get to know me over internet and if he would have been back we could have meet but no. And John is just a hard person - he doesn't use anything where we could chat and just argh. Why are people so hard, I'm getting frustrated since everyone are just asses.

I also met this guy from Finland and he only wanted to meet in person and I don't have time or money for that and he also didn't like to chat on internet and he didn't want to send me a picture of himself. Just what the actual fuck? He already seemed like a hard person and then he won't even send me a pic? And said that its reality. It doesn't work that way, you seem like an ass and you won't sen me a picture. I had enough and I deleted him from Skype where we chatted a little bit. Now hes probably talking shit about me.

Why can't I find someone closer to my age who is really interested in me and who isn't a hard person? Maybe because people my age are also asses. Everyone who are interested in me are either old or too ugly, thought the older ones know how to respect me but as I said - they're old.

From Tumblr

And now something else. I was at this party in the capital where I met up many of my friends which I haven't seen in a long time. The party itself was pretty lame compared to other party's where I have been but the company was totally worth it. I even got free manga and my friend offered me a drink, so sweet people. I already miss them all.

Night before of the party I wanked myself as usual but this time I lowered my boxers and right before I got orgasm I turned on my back and the sperm flew across my torso. Little bit flew over my cover and the rest on torso, smoking hot. The sperm didn't taste good or bad, it was just meh.

Now I hope I meet someone really nice who likes me and want's to fuck me.

#8 Lover Boys

Hello.

Few days ago I learned how to wash my ass properly and that made me really happy. Because I tried earlier to put the shower as close as my ass as possible but it didn't do anything, this time it did and I even tested it and no dirt came from that ass, I was so happy that I couldn't wait to do it again.

Today I went to shower again and washed it again. I tested the purity with old toothbrush and I also tried anal sex with it, it didn't feel very nice, some part it felt kinda good. And its so annoying that I feel like shitting when I did it. Hopefully dick will feel better in the ass and maybe I get used to it when I anal fuck me enough. And if I have sex - maybe my ass will relax more during the sex and makes it feel better.

I also tried to wank in the shower normally - I always wank by pressing my cock against the mattress so it looks like having sex. I recommend you to try that! I tried and tried but I just couldn't have an orgasm, I would have really wanted to see sperm spreading on my skin while I'm wet and maybe have a little taste of it.

And after the shower I only put up hoodie and home pants. I didn't wear any underwear, I wear them usually every time but I decided to only wear pants. The feeling was so relieving when you didn't have a cage for your cock, it was from the shower and its even is at this exact moment. It looked hot when I could see my dick rising in these pants - I hoped someone would had seen me and play with me.

From Tumblr


Last night I decided to look up some swimming hall porn because its one of my fantasy's to have sex there, at least in a steam sauna. And I found this text where someone told how he got fucked in a swimming hall and damn that story was hot. He also wrote about his first time, what a lucky gay boy he was!

I also decided to be more active on this another date site and I already found two foreigner guys who want to fuck me. One is from Poland and his name is Lukas - such a cute name. We were planning on having sex this Sunday because he is leaving back to Poland next Friday. But I guess he will be back sometime and if we have a nice time, maybe we'll meet up again.

The second guy is called John and he lives here and he's from Canada. And he is one horny motherfucker! I don't mind that he's horny I am too and its even flattering that he talks to me in such a naughty way, I love it. I will maybe also meet up with him on Sunday but I'm not sure because of Lukas, we'll see.

I also met this one guy called Kimi, I loved to talk with him about all gay things and stuff and he even offered to pay my trip to him - so sweet - but he is kinda chubby and I don't really like that, I don't think that I am good looking but all I seek is a slim or masculine guy or he could be a little bit of chubby but not that much with a fine looking face and he also needs to be a nice guy, that's all.

I hope I also get to write about my first time here soon!

#7 They Don't Really Care About Us

Hello.

Yesterday was kinda angst day and I expressed it via Facebook by updating lyrics from Christina Perri's Human. Some people liked it of course because they related to it - maybe even too well, but no one asked me if anything is ok. I don't usually angst about anything but sometimes I do and when I do, no one cares.

No one even noticed me in the chat when I suggested that we should try this website together and they just started to talk about something else like fucking bitches you only care about yourself's. Now a days they only talk about shitty subjects or them self's and I'm tired of that shit.

I shall try that I don't speak anything in that chat until someone will notice me. I am not negative person seriously. But this is the only place where I can shed all my worries. I hope I get to write something happier here as soon as possible. Why can't I have any good friends? Boyfriend would totally be needed but nope, not a chance.

From Tumblr

And I can't even talk to my brother about things - I tried to talk with him that how it pisses me off when my school friends act like stupid bitches and he didn't even say anything. Nice brother I have there.
I feel like I was supposed to say something else but I can't remember what, oh well.

But now I get to write something more nice. I was watching The Simpsons today and in that episode they went to Miami and there where all these cute scenes where Marge and Homer were having good time with each other without the kids. And I decided that I would want to go to Miami with my boyfriend and sit in a Ferris wheel and kiss and hug him behind back in a transparent elevator.

And I would also like to go somewhere cute dancing place where is nice lightning and you can wish for a song and then they play it - I would wish The Way I Are by Timbaland.

#6 No Love For Me

Hello.

I tried scrolling some gay forums but they seemed so hard to understand what was what and there were so many topics that I just decided to let them be, so no talking with others to me then. Why there is no forums for my own language like its very necessary. 

I also registered to this new dating site but its for everyone and its so new that there isn't many users and also its more for adults - aka no one for me. And site is so crappy with all their rules and operating system. I wont find anyone from that site, that's for sure.

And even more bad news. I told about this hip hopper guy in earlier post, I didn't hear from him in few days and then he contacted me. He asked if I was "positive". I thought he meant positive like is part of my personality being positive but then I googled it and it turned out that that's how they call people with HIV. He has HIV.

 Are you fucking kidding me? I can't fuck someone with HIV, well there is a condom but its not sure that it will protect me. And also if I wanna suck his cock, I don't wanna do it with condom on. Well his appearance was like a bad boy and I'm not really surprised that he has it. I always was afraid of meeting people online because I was afraid of stuff like that and now that it really happen, oh God.

From Tumblr

And also my friends talked in our group chat about summer and going to the cottage and stuff. First of all that cottage does not have a shower so we should wash our self's in a lake. I can't approve that because I have to shave and I would have to be there all naked and I'm too insecure for that. And I am insecure because of my body hair. They sicken me, I hate my body hair so much that I cant wear shorts or be half naked infront  of anyone. And they make it even worse when they say in the chat "ew I hate body hair" and stuff like. They don't even know that I'm insecure about that and then they can wonder why I can't wash myself in the lake + you shouldn't even wash yourself in the lake.

And that's also one thing that I feel that no one will love me because I'm so ugly and by that I mean my body hair. Of course there is men who like body hair or they are fine with it but where? At least they are not for me and I'm tired of being alone and feel that no one can love me because of that. My biggest wish is that I wouldn't have any body hair.

Its good that I have this blog so that I can write down my feelings because I can't do it anywhere else. I can't talk about this with my friends, I don't want them to know that I have a lot of body hair - maybe they know but I won't take that chance. If only I could have someone who I could talk about these things or readers but no. Its hard to be gay, hate it.

#5 My Own Bed

Hello.

Monday morning started again with masturbation but how can I resist when I see all these hot guys in social media and I'm a horny teen so its only healthy for me. Besides I was going to take a shower first thing in the morning. I can't believe that sperm came out when I went to the bathroom. My brother went there so I couldn't go there immediately, so there was at least 10 minutes interval between bathroom and orgasm.

I had an orgasm 10 minutes ago and more sperm came out? Wow. I have to admit that it looked kinda hot. But the head of the penis looked kinda swollen, I don't know why. Maybe because the sperm made it look like it was swollen? I don't know. 

I also had to help my mum with moving these all kinds of stuff from room to another. It was all complaining and shit that I'm tired of hearing and when I gave advice it was a bad one but in the end we ended up doing it like I said. So we had to do extra job because of that. I just wanna move out, I wanna be my own master.

From Tumblr

I was also dancing a little bit. I started to learn this dance while ago but the video which I learned from was shitty one so I looked up a better video which teaches the dance properly. I was also looking up some gay forums where I could discuss about being gay and other stuff related to that subject and meet new people anonymously, because I can't talk about these things to anyone.

I have never felt better than now when I started to be more into porn and gay and everything like that. I can speak freely without anyone criticizing me or anything like that. I freaking love porn. Because of that I can feel free and express myself in a new better way. I hope I even get some readers for my blog from the forums and maybe I find someone else like me. That would be nice.

#4 Dude Your My Style

Hello.

Last night happened something incredible. I have registered this one gay dating site and I spotted a cute guy there. I could have only hoped that we would get to know each other but I had to be realistic. I haven't really found anyone on that site and I also thought that hes out of my league that he would never like me.

But then he sent me a message and I started hyperventilating and he asked me "have we met?". I feel like it was a good start for our conversation and that it would take us closer to each other. I hope so. 

I really liked his bio because it was different and it had some real stuff in it. He is a hip hopper and he has a street style - which I love very much. I would love to have a boyfriend like that and he even has a tattoo and I love guys who has tattoos. I also had an first impression of him that he is a bad boy and I have always been into bad boys. One minus would be that he lives pretty far away from me but I don't thinks its that bad. 

From Twitter

Today was also released BTOB's new song called "Beep Beep".
I totally fell in love with that song. The chorus is so catchy and they sing it in such a cute way that I wanna start crying. This may be my love for this year like Teen Top's "Rocking" was last year. Peniel looks so God damn cute!

#3 Brother's Hot Friend

Hello.

My morning started whit some masturbation. And I hate doing that in the morning but I wanted to cum because I was releasing photos in my gay porn Instagram account which has already reached over 400 followers in just few days, that's amazing.

I went to toilet to clean my purple boxers out of the sperm and to do other morning things.

I really don't like masturbating in the morning because I will smell afterwards. I could have stopped before I had an orgasm but I just let it to come. This happens a lot on weekends because I don't have to go to school so I have time to do so but I'm going to erase that habit.

From Tumblr

Later, my big brother made a visit.

I was just sitting in my room and I heard that there was someone down stairs but I didn't know who.

Then my brothers dog walks into my room and I'm like wtf.

I guess he just came to give us some old furniture.

And he took his friend with him. He was so polite and seemed like a really nice guy and was extremely cute! And I was looking like shit because its weekend. And he even looked at my posters and pictures on my old room's wall, I guess he was the first one.

I was so hungry in the morning then I ate a cupcake, few candy's and drank some tea and now I'm not hungry at all. And there's soup on my table and I hate soup. I guess I wont eat it although I would like some real food. 

  

#2 I Love Valentine's Day

Hello.

So yesterday was Valentine's Day.

When I was younger I didn't care about it but everything changed today.

It was the last school day before vacation and it was also very easy day. In the morning my friend linked me sexy pictures of Jay Park and I was so excited, those pictures were illegally hot! My nose even started to bleed (not blood) after drooling all over the photos, just like an anime character.

Later on, I've had crush on this one boy in our school for a while and I have wanted to know his name. I found a guy that looked in my eye kinda like him but I wasn't sure, he had joined our schools acting club and they had a Facebook page for the members and that's where I found him.

I wanted to be sure if he was him or not but I couldn't figure it out. Until Valentine's Day. My friend confirmed that it was him. Now I knew my crush's name. It made me very happy. I even got to stand next to him after that confirmation.

But Valentine's Day wasn't only just fun. My boy classmates are literally fucking monkeys. They talk all the time during the lesson and act like monkeys, they are so retarded that I can't handle them. Hopefully I will soon get rid of them as soon as possible. I'm ashamed of our class because of them.

Our native language teacher couldn't take their shitty attitude anymore and she let us leave early from the class. Like can't you see what are you doing? Grow up you damn fetuses.

My Happy Valentine's Day Greeting and my theme song of the day.

#1 Jurassic Jay Park

Hello.

This is my first blog text for this blog. 

I decided to start this blog because I wanted to talk about pretty personal subjects and I didn't wan't my friends or anyone else to know who I am. As an example I wan't to talk about men and this is kinda awkward for me because I'm a boy, so I didn't want to show people that I think about these things and so on.

Other subjects will probably be porn, my daily life, I will release some photos that I have taken and edited and I will also give my opinions to different subjects.

Little bit about me:

I'm a teenage boy from Europe

This is my 5th blog. My previous blogs were two lifestyle blogs, photographing blog and an Asia blog. I stopped writing the first lifestyle blog because someone I know found it and I didn't like that he could read my texts and the second one's reason is that my texts were just so stupid + my two friends were also writers in that blog and they wrote like once in a month and I didn't like that. And I created this one because I wanted to write about these subjects which can't handle day light.

    I really liked writing in that Asia blog but criticizing manga's and kpop songs took so much time and my friend was also writer in that blog, same guy as that in the lifestyle blog.

My friend created the photography blog and I joined her but she's such a dictator with that blog and doesn't give me any credit about that blog, I was the one who got all our readers to join our blog - ungrateful bitch.

So now I have learned that no more cooperation's with anyone, it doesn't work.

In the future I will be posting semi short texts but sometimes I'll have a little bit more to say like in this text.