#56 Hail To Summer

Hello.

So the summer has officially started since all the 9 graders have gotten their numbers and so on. My first year at business college has also ended. There is a lot of good memories but there's always bad with the good. I cant understand how one year went so fast, I remember going to school one hour early and shaking like hell. How I've grown into my new classmate friends, and also a little bit of hate.

I went to school on Friday for one more day, to get my 1st year graduation paper and to eat a donut and a cookie. Then I went home and met my brother near to our secondary school, he bought this just released game Watch Dogs. So we walked home together and talked some shiet and stuff. We played it for few hours, then our grams arrived so we stopped playing and went so hi. After that I was feeling very sleepy so I decided to rest my eyes. I went to "rest" about 6 pm and woke up at 10 pm, so I decided to really go to sleep. I even saw many dreams, which is unusual for me.

So today I woke up 8 am but I rose out of bed about 10 am. When I was on computer doing my things, my brother came into my room and told me to come help with something. He didn't tell with what so I didn't hurry at all and because of he decided to piss me off really badly. By hitting and touching me, pushing my computer and taking off my headphones of the computer, and my speaker is broken so it crackles. How stupid can you be to not to know that it definitely wont make me move. When I tell him to stop, no, ofc he wont. He will just keep on pissing me off cause he always, cause he is fucking dum that way. Asshole.

I also made an new Instagram account. This time I will try to not to get banned by posting non penis photos. I posted my first picture three days ago and I already have almost 100 pictures and 153 followers.

Our photoshoot pictures came too and I look horrible, my hair was just fucked up from the front, back and on top. Good thing to first to make do once I wake up is to get me ready for the photoshoot, ofc I would look like shit.

 About that guy I told about who I met in Qruiser, hes name is Anton. Apparently his phone didn't inform him about new messages in Kik so that's why he didn't reply to me. He seems such a nice guy and even to like me with my body hair. But he doesn't reply anymore, he hasn't even read the messages. He told me that he would check once in a while but no no no ofc he wont, idiot. I don't know if I should message him on Qruiser cause I already did once and I don't want to seem clingy. But I sent him the last message on Thursday so maybe its a good time gap.

One last thing, I'm really starting to hate Jere. Because he reads the messages but wont reply. Like Henna is having hard time, he reads it but wont reply like aren't you a magnificent guy, I see you care a lot. When he puts some messages, they are often very bitchy or immature. He doesn't even belong there as I said last time. Another thing that I noticed is that he, Vili, Miia or Petra haven't liked my new profile picture on Facebook. I understand Petra since were kinda like enemies but Miia and Vili. You should like your friends stuff on Facebook, especially these big ones to show that you like them and are interested in them. Vili liked Riko's picture tho and she posted it later than me so thanks for being a "bestfriend" tho I haven't kept him as an bestfriend for a long time but I cant say it cause I don't wanna hurt his feelings or start and question wave and shit.

#55 Benjamin Peltonen

Hello.

My brother got his grades today and he got a stipend witch included 40 euros about the best basic subjects of his school. He then came to my room and bragged that he is better in school than me. Well first of all, we go to different schools and different examinations so you cant compare those two and I was always the better one in school. So don't think that you are better than me in your examination.

I was getting ready for going outside when my brother came in to my room and I was in the middle of scrolling through porn pics on Twitter. He sat next to and was being annoying and shit so he made me really mad. Then when I was going outside, my mom started asking questions, then I went to see how much was it raining, well too much so I couldn't go outside. Then mom started to yell at me that don't go and why are you on your socks walking outside and ugh, made me even more mad. So I went to computer to live my porn life and to be pissed off. Luckily I got to go outside for about two hours later on.

Then for the final thing. I read yesterday that Benjamin Peltonen will be recording an album and I was like what and decided to look up some singing videos, well I didn't find any but I went to his Instagram account and fell in love with him. Hes such a perfect looking guy, I have to start stalking him from now on.

#54 All These People

Hello.

I haven't been writing in a week anything except that question thing. I could have wrote something but yeah, I didn't and I didn't. School has been really fun with these last days. We took nice pictures, sat outside and played at the playground which was very funny. I have passed all the courses and tests. Today was the last day with 2 hours being in school. I was really afraid of the presentation we had to perform today because he was supposed to ask questions about the presentation but he didn't, luckily. Next time I have to go to school is Friday to get my certificate of my courses.

I was also thinking when I was coming back home about the thing that I only attract sad people to my life. Am I like a karma's gift to these sad people that I'm supposed to bring happiness to their life? Well sorry but I wont take that anymore cause I'm tired of that everyone are just sad. Everyone are sad in a way or another, especially in the group chat, and my school friends too like wtf people stop being so WEAK.

Also another thing that is annoying me is how people check what someone writes in the group chat but wont say anything, then their stupid name is just written in end. Especially Petra's and Jere's names are particularly annoying because they do it most. The chat isn't the way it was, everyone are just bitches and everyone, except me, have left the chat and then came back, some of them more than once. And with Jere being there, its not family chat anymore. Hes such a random person and there's no family-like feeling towards that person, hes just a stranger. I only accepted him there because I hated how they only put messages into that chat where Jere were and they were totally ingnoring everyone who weren't in that chat, even if Jere wasn't even there to read those messages. I think that tells something about our non-existing group spirit.

I also finally found a cute normal guy from Qruiser, like I have been waiting for him since forever. Finally someone nice looking of my own age shows interest towards me. But he is apparently only looking for gay experiences so I'm not sure if I can get a boyfriend of him. He is apparently bi, also, so that's a negative side since I can lose him to any girl if he doesn't like my outer appearance. But even bigger problem is that he doesn't even message me. I messaged him in the morning and he replies when I go to sleep, like wtf man? Don't you use your phone all the time? How am I supposed to build a relationship with him when he doesn't even talk? Sometimes I even think what am I doing when no one in the internet doesn't seem like a good boyfriend or I'm not enthusiastic to keep in touch with them, if I even get a message. I would want to find a guy in real life but its a fucking impossible thing to a gay guy = =

#53 Questions Not Usually Asked

1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Always closed!

2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
I haven't really been in that kind of hotels but I guess I would.

3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Out..?

4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
No.

5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
Sure!

6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Maybe sometimes.

7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Bees.

8:Do you have freckles?
No.

9:Do you always smile for pictures?
No..

10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
I really don't have answer to this one since I don't completely understand the question.

11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
No.

14:Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
Yes.

15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
No.

16:How many people have you slept with this week?
Zero.

17:What size is your bed?
Normal small with one person.

18:What is your Song of the week?
Maybe Good-night Kiss by Junhyoseong.

19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Hell yes ;)

20:Do you still watch cartoons?
Of course!

21:Whats your least favorite movie?
Maybe that one that was called something like two guns and a smoking barrel or something like that.

22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
On my backyard.

23:What do you drink with dinner?
Tea but in school juice.

24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Nothing.

25:What is your favorite food?
Bacon pasta.

26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Eight Below, Mulan etc.

28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Nope.

29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Sure.

30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Reaally long time ago.

31:Can you change the oil on a car?
Nope.

32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
I don't even have a license so..

33:Ever ran out of gas?
I guess so (well my dad).

34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
xx

35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Something light.

36:What is your usual bedtime?
Before midnight.

37:Are you lazy?
Depends on what I have to do but sometimes I am.

38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I never did.

39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Apparently its Ox.

40:How many languages can you speak?
Two: Finnish and English.

41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Noo.

42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos D44.

43:Are you stubborn?
Not much I guess.

44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Who?

45:Ever watch soap operas?
Ofc!

46:Are you afraid of heights?
No.

47:Do you sing in the car?
No.

48:Do you sing in the shower?
Yes.

49:Do you dance in the car?
Yeah.

50:Ever used a gun?
No.

51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Yesterday.

52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
No.

53:Is Christmas stressful?
No.

54:Ever eat a pierogi?
If I have, I don't remember.

55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
Maybe blueberry.

56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
I don't remember any.

57:Do you believe in ghosts?
I'm not really sure..

58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
D44.

59:Take a vitamin daily?
Nope.

60:Wear slippers?
Sure.

61:Wear a bath robe?
Not usually.

62:What do you wear to bed?
T-shirt and boxers.

63:First concert?
Never been in one.

64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
We don't have those in Finland.

65:Nike or Adidas?
Adidas.

66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
xx

67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Peanuts.

68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
Maybe..

69:Ever take dance lessons?
No unless you count the school dances.

70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Noo.

71:Can you curl your tongue?
Yes.

72:Ever won a spelling bee?
I have never participated.

73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes.

74:Own any record albums?
Two, 2NE1 First and Second mini album.

75:Own a record player?
Yes.

76:Regularly burn incense?
Never.

77:Ever been in love?
Well yeah maybe.

78:Who would you like to see in concert?
2NE1.

79:What was the last concert you saw?
xx

80:Hot tea or cold tea?
Cold!

81:Tea or coffee?
Tea!

82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Sugar..?

83:Can you swim well?
Enough.

84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes.

85:Are you patient?
Yes.

86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
I don't want to get married but maybe a band.

87:Ever won a contest?
Yes.

88:Ever have plastic surgery?
No.

89:Which are better black or green olives?
Non of them.

90:Can you knit or crochet?
No.

91:Best room for a fireplace?
Living room.

92:Do you want to get married?
No.

93:If married, how long have you been married?
xx

95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
No.

96:Do you have kids?
No.

97:Do you want kids?
NO.

98:Whats your favorite color?
Red and turquoise.

99:Do you miss anyone right now?
No.

#52 School With Issues

Hello.

On Tuesday I was going to school when I remembered about after one km that I forgot my wallet, where were my train ticket and my lunch card. I then decided to go back since the first lesson was unimportant. I got to watch Kim Possible so it was a nice decision. Even tho, when I had to go to school, I almost forgot the wallet again, I remembered it just when I was going inside.

We then had our Swedish test which I was very worried about, in the test I did so bad that I already thought I wouldn't pass. I could have cheated on the test but I was afraid to do so. We got to know our numbers the same lesson. I was one point below passing but because of my good behavior etc. I passed! I was so happy when I heard the good news. I also passed with the word test.

At the end of the day and last lesson, we were sitting in the classroom and waiting the teacher to come so that we could ask if he can print some papers. Then later someone told us that we don't have to be here and my train had just left like 15 minutes ago. So we were waiting for nothing and we still ended up printing those papers. We also waited today at the last lesson til someone told us that the teachers have a meeting so we don't have lessons and my train had just left not long ago. This school has some announcing issues.

This day was also nerve braking, my brother was being annoying and everyone were just complaining and I was like fuck you all I don't like anyone anymore. And my "closest friends" are still annoying and not them selves anymore and they think I've changed? Look at yourself assholes. Vili is also so wierd and and quiet and bitchy and it feels like he talks to someone rather than to me, well he hasn't been my bestfriend since he turned his back on me.

Basically how I will sleep the whole summer.

#51 Measurement Of Men

Hello.

I slept so badly last night. I started watching Eat Your Kimchi videos and there was just too many interesting videos to watch so stayed up til 1 am. Then I went to sleep but I had troubles to get sleep and I probably woke up few times so I slept about 5 hours. In the morning I thought I couldn't survive through the day but after I got to straight up my hair I became more happy, and here I am now, not even tired.

And the summer is finally here. I knew already when I was at home that its hot outside so I decided to only put on a checked shirt. I would have melted if I would have had more layers on. Many people were wearing shorts and I would also like to since its so hot but my leg hairs, I don't want to show them. And about those, we were sitting outside and Niko asked about some boys "what men are those when they don't even have leg hairs?". All I thought about in that situation was "hot boys" like you need leg hair to be a man? I think its only that you have cock between your legs. I also found new guy to drool, our classmate Dan too off his long sleeve shirt so he only wore a top and damn he had some nice biceps.

Nea said that she wants to get rid of Konsta cause he apparently makes her sick for a reason even she doesn't know. Like gurl what the fuck. Let go of that good for nothing Tommi and hold on to this cute guy. I'm sure that he is even better in sex.

The school was really nice. Everything was so chill and we got a great laugh. Now I just have to survive the Swedish test and other stupid shit stuff, lets hope for the best. 

#50 Changes

Hello.

Yesterday I overslept and I looked at the clock, it was about 9:18 am so I decided to take the two and thought that I have lots of time in my hands before the next possible train. I was eating and then I realized that clock is almost 10:20 and I was like oh shit, how did I not notice the clock. So I had to stop eating and hurry to the train station (my train would leave 10:39), I couldn't even brush my teeth, straightened my hair or put on deodorant nor perfume.

We had our word test in Wednesday and the teacher left us alone in the class room to do that test and I had my answer sheet with me so me and Julia could easily just look some answers up. Nea decided to stay with Tommi so she couldn't enjoy this fortunes gift. They decided to get back together but they broke up for good in two days. Nea said to Konsta that she has someone else and destroyed Konsta's hopes totally but when she asked can she come for a sleep over, he said yes. Like aren't you offended that she wants you only when she cant handle her first choice? I hoped that it wouldn't be so easy for her, I'm such bad person haha. I guess they would have even had sex but Nea has that time of the month so they probably wont. Everyone else are fucking except me! TT

Back to Thursday. When I got back from school, no one was home. I wondered around and I spotted an lubricant so I decided to try it. I went to the bathroom and took some of it in my hand. It made the hand slide really nicely but it was kinda like silicon or something, it was still okey tho. I even put some on my ass and on a toothbrush to try how it would work as an dildo. It was the same as shampoo, no difference. But with this experiment I finally see that I don't like jerking off by hand at all. Its so slow and it gives a weird feeling, almost like it hurts (this could be because of smegma) or this annoying feeling like can I already cum etc. I prefer pushing my cock against an mattress and cum that way.

Little book keeping of toning progress:

Abs: 30

Pull-ups: 7

#49 Questions With Peter Le

1:What was the last thing you ate?
I believe it would be candy.

2:What was the last thing you purchased?
I bought few manga books.

3:Last promise you made?
I cant even remember when I made a promise last time.

4:Most recent regret?
I don't remember.

5:Have you ever had your heart broken?
Not really since I have never really been in love.

6: 3 things you often think about?
How I look, what kind of sex I would have with that person and how the weather will be like perhaps.

7:What career do you hope to pursue in the future?
Well this hope is more like a dream but I would like to be a singer, own store or coffee shop would also be nice. Then there's also writer, translator and realtor.

8:What does your blog mean to you?
It means a lot to me since I can be who I am and I can write everything I think and also share things I like, those that cant handle day light.

9:Have you ever sent somebody a hateful message? Do you regret it?
Yes, I actually do.

10:Favourite genre of movie?
Porn haha, well seriously I like drama and action.

11:Who did you last kiss?
I have never kissed.

12:What family member are you closest to?
My twin brother, he means everything to me.

13:Your favourite childhood memory?
I remember when this one Zorro drama came from TV always right after school so we ran from school to home with my brother to watch it. Unfortunately there is no DVD. Also the trips to Estonia and Romania were really nice.

14:Most recent argument/fight?
Maybe with my brother about something small.

15:Last time you cried?
Today cause I was thinking about people who can never experience our normal life.

16:Pick two- emotional stability, intelligence, good looks?
If this means what I would like to have in me then I would probably choose good looks and intelligence since I already have emotional stability.

17:Last lie you told?
Maybe that school was fine but I was actually mad about people?

18:What were you doing at 11pm last night?
I was on computer.

19:Plans for tomorrow?
Nothing special, maybe I should figure out how much does 2 weeks train tickets cost.

20:What's your favourite fashion trend at the moment?
I don't really have anything in mind but the basic, kinda mainstream, way how boys dress up the classy way.

21:Ever had sex?
I wish.

22:If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
In a bed next to someone who loves me and fucks me.

23:To be blind or to be deaf?
I hate these kind of questions, but maybe blind cause I want to hear people and music and I could get a dog to help me and the partners looks wouldn't matter.

24:Last message you sent? Who did you send it to?
Maybe on Facebook to a group chat.

25: 3 things you wish you had?
Good looks, good singing voice and money.

26: 3 things you wish you didn't have?
Body hair, smegma and the opportunity to learn Swedish.

27: 3 thing you're grateful for?
Good health, roof over my head and to live in Finland.

28:Favourite quote?
I don't really have anything but there is "Naega jeil jal naga" which means I Am The Best in Korean, its my motto.

29:Who inspires you the most?
2NE1 and many male celebrities.

30:Is there a special someone in your life?
No.

31:Ever taken drugs?
No.

32:3 biggest turn-on's?
Thighs, abs, biceps, sweatpants, one type of shorts, simply good looking etc.

33:3 biggest turn-off's?
Fat and ugly are maybe the only ones I can think now.

34:Something you regret saying to your crush?
I did say this but not to a crush, there was this one girl so I questioned my love for boys and decided to try be with a girl and I gave her a nickname such as "teddy bear" and I made myself cry because of her and people knew I "liked" her. I never had feelings for her and still I wen through all this and for what? To prove that I like cocks and not chickens.

35:Ever been in love?
Well I count it as a bigger thing than crush but not really love, it was towards my classmate for like two years.

36:Most recent nightmare?
Maybe a long time ago, I don't really even see dreams.

37:Most recent dream?
I cant remember what happened in that dream.

38:Best friends?
Only my brother, in public I say Vili also cause I don't want to hurt his feelings or tell him that I don't like him that much anymore since it doesn't feel like he likes me that much anymore and that he talks more to others than me.

39:Last picture you took?
A snapchat to a friend.

40:How long have you had this blog?
Since Valentine's Day.

41:Look to your left, whats the first thing you see?
My armchair.

42:Look to your right, whats the first thing you see?
My phone.

43: 3 things on your bucket list?
Go to many different countries, have sex in a swimming hall and on a beach.

44:Are there any goals that you are currently hoping to achieve?
Get through these courses.

45:Pool or spa?
Spa, I would like a massage.

46:Beach or Shops?
Shops!

47:Ever considered being vegetarian?
Never.

48:Ever changed something about yourself to impress another?
I guess so.

49:The last person to hurt you? Do you still talk to them?
Nea and Julia, yes I do.

50:Ever been drunk? Was it a bad experience?
No.

51:What has been your most recent fantasy?
Perform on Eurovision.

52:Are you close with your family?
With twin brother: yes but rest of the family its normal.

53:A story you always tell people?
I don't have anything in mind right now.

54:If you could spend a whole day with anyone (dead or alive), who would it be?
If I could have sex with the person I would have to choose between so many men but if it would be normal then I would choose CL of 2NE1 or maybe Peniel of BTOB.

55:biggest fear?
The afterlife, I don't want to reborn. I wanna keep my spirit or be a ghost or what ever but I don't want to start all over.

56:Unusual aspirations?
xx

57:Cats or dogs?
I say both since they both have good qualities.

58:Memes or gifs?
Gifs.

59:Receiving presents or giving?
Receiving.

60:Ever donated to a charity?
Yes.

61:Define your dream partner?
Someone who's personality is similar to me and likes pretty much the same things, a bit muscular, no body hair, tattoos and who wants to try different sex things.

62:Describe your current appearance?
Happy, positive, shy.

63:Describe yourself in one word?
Positive.

64: 1 thing you dislike about yourself? (appearance or personality)
My body hair.

65: 3 things you love about yourself? (appearance or personality)
My personality, that I have small abs so I can get them toned probably easily and my health.

66:Do you play any instruments?
No.

67:Describe your crush in 3 words?
Smart, cute, not so hairy.

68:Write a 6 line poem about whatever comes to your mind first?
All I ever wanted
Is to feel your warmth and love
To share things with you
To make me happy in every way
And that I would make you happy
And that's why I would s m i l e

69:Outdoors or Indoors?
Indoors.

70:Favourite thing to do in your spare time?
Be on computer.

71:Ever said I love you to someone? (excludes family)
Yes but I'm not sure if I really meant it 100%.

72:Do you want to get married?
No.

73:Ever been to a red carpet event?
No.

74:Ever met a celebrity? who?
No.

75:Favourite place to think?
At shower and in bed and also at the swings.

76:How many relationships have you been in?
Zero.

77:Tell the story of your first kiss?
Never had.

78:Ever had a cute romantic moment?
You wish. :_D

79:Best gift you have ever received?
My kitty cat.

80:INSERT QUESTION OF YOUR CHOICE
What makes you happy?
Music, expressing yourself and men and porn.

#48 Maybe

Hello.

Today my dad gave a ride for me to train station so I didn't have to go by bike but when I was going home, it started to rain, not much but still. I didn't even know that he was home but when I was really close to my house I saw his car turning from our street so I jumped in and we went to buy burger meals, I love it. He should have told me that he could pick me up tho.

In school then, at our first class we managed to do our task more forward since there was only me and Julia in the beginning because Nea and Julia always have to gossiping about everything and so our task will be forgotten and our progress is slow. Nea got "back together" with Tommi and I don't know why, she was getting to know this cute guy Konsta and now she has to break his heart by telling shes not interested in him anymore, well she cant be.

At the end of  Swedish class I said that I would copy the homework from Julia and she said that "No you won't" and that sometimes you have to be a bitch. How many times have I saved your ass by telling you the answer when you didn't have the interest to follow, well you think your the baddest bitch but I can play this game too. Then at the last lesson we did our last task from internet so we went to practice for our video and we read it through one time and oh, the clock was perfectly 1 pm so of course their trains/buses will leave soon so its a perfect time to skip the rest of the class and leave me alone for one hour. I went back to the class and started scrolling Facebook, the teacher nagged about it so I explained that I don't have nothing else to do and that we were supposed to practice but they left, so he apologized which was a nice thing to do. I guess that the teacher put an absence to them, which I hope, and that he will talk to them about it.

Now I have to read for the word test... Jesus.

#47 I Hate Humans

Hello.

I haven't wrote anything in few days because Miia was here and I didn't have time to write. She came here with the same train as I, the weather was bad as usually. We basically watched TV whole Thursday, I don't remember doing anything special except watching Eurovision. On Friday I went to school and then came back home to eat burger meal, we went out to help my mom to carry some bags. The weekend we went to the store to buy some goodies for Eurovision Final and I also bought manga, we went to swing and also went out middle of the night to this bus station place where we filmed few dance videos. Before we went there we learned 15 seconds from a choreography by Sistar19 and the song was Gone Not Around Any Longer. It was so much learning those 15 seconds. Then she left on Sunday and I could get back to my routines. I couldn't do any exercise like abs and stuff cause she was here, so I weakened down a lot. I remember that I could do at least 30 abs, maybe even 40, and now I could only do 20 so I have catching up to do.

My favorites of the Eurovision 2014 would be:

1. Romania

2. Poland

3. Greece

4. Finland

5. Austria

Now for the last thing to say. The amount of hate that Conchita gets for being who he is upsetting and in general for every people. Like it gets me so mad like why cant you just let people be, how does it itch your ass what other person does or likes like I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE CAN YOU JUST DIE I CANT STAND PEOPLE LIKE THIS. This subject is way too big for me to process so I just simply leave like this.

Actually one more thing to say is that I'm getting worried over by these few last school weeks since I have to read for an word test and then there's also English and Swedish tests, and also we need to make some kind of presentation over something stupid and we basically need to memorize it... This is shit.

    

#46 Time To Tone

Hello.

When I was at shower probably last weekend, I cleaned me up very well since my impurities reduced. It was really nice to notice that my face is going to a better direction. I also washed my cock better, I put some shampoo in it and started to do the wanking move and flushed. Smegma goes off better when using some kind of soap.

I was watching Eurovision last night until my brother came into my room and said that Suits is starting, he didn't want to screenshot it from computer (now that I think why I didn't tell him to watch it through stream...). So I tried to watch Eurovision from computer but it lagged so badly that I just gave up and was angry rest of the time.

Yesterday when we were in our last class, I was listening to 2NE1 from computer and Nea asked what we were doing. Julia answered for me with a really bitchy voice "Hes listening 2NE1". What the fuck gurl? How is that such a big thing for you what I listen? You listen to kpop too so whats the problem? I don't judge your music choices even tho I don''t like it. Why you always have to judge my music taste? You better realize that that's what I listen and if its not ok with you then fuck off. Its not even the first time she was like this.

 I also decided to start exercising a little bit. I decided that I want abs or at least tone my torso, so now I try to do abdominal moves every day as much as I can but now I guess I cant do it because brother is home before me and I wanna do it alone, also Miia is coming over for few nights. Maybe I can do them in the bathroom... Well I hope I get some kind of abs in some point. Then maybe I can get a boyfriend.

 Today was really easy day, I did a test which for I didn't read at all cause I didn't want to buy the book but I didn't even need it and I guess I did pretty good. But after school the trains were late and I went out to wait my train, there came a train and I hopped in. I looked out the window and wondered how the view wasn't familiar at all. Then they announced the next stop. I was in the wrong train. I hopped out, I had to get to the other dock but I couldn't find a place where to get there so I decided to follow this dude and walk a cross the rails. Then I waited a train that took me back to Kerava and I got finally home.

#45 Meet The Blogger

Bold what’s true about you

I am under 18.
I am a cuddler.
I am a morning person.
I am an only child.
I am currently in my “pyjamas”.
I am currently pregnant.
I am left handed.
l am right handed.
I am ambidextrous.
I am a little shy around the opposite sex.
I bite my nails.
I can be paranoid at times.
I enjoy folk music.
I enjoy smoothies.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I have a car.
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.
I have a hidden talent.
I have a pet.
I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy/girl.
I have all my grandparents.
I have been to another country.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
I have or had broken a bone.
I have caller I.D. on my phone.
I have bathed someone.
I have changed a diaper.
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have had major/minor surgery.
I have killed another person.
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have mood swings. (I used to. yay medication)
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I have rejected someone before.
I like the taste of blood.
I love Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping.
I love to shop.
I own 100 CDs or more.
I own and use a library card.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
I sleep a lot during the day.
I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I am wearing socks.
I am tired.
I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt. (I used to)
I consume at least one alcoholic drink every month.

I have/had:
Finished college/uni
Smoked cigarettes.
Ridden every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a concert.
Helped someone.
Spun turn tables.
Watched four movies in one night.
Been broken up with.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Skipped school.
Gotten in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Been in a mental hospital.
Fired a gun.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Attempted suicide.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Used a colouring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Had more than 5 online conversations going at once.
Had a hamster.
Dyed your hair.
Had something pierced.
Gotten straight A’s.
Been handcuffed.

My hair is naturally the colour:
Light brown
Medium brown
Dark brown
Blonde
Black
Dirty blond
Strawberry blond
Multicoloured
Red

My eyes are:
Brown
Dark brown
Blue
Green
Hazel
Light brown
Black
Gray

People sometimes label me as:
Slut
Boyish
Colorful
Ugly
Nerd
Other

Some of my biggest fears are:
Spiders/other insects
Slimy things
Dying
Doctor/Dentist appointments
Hospitals
Needles
Disease
Being alone in the dark
Heights
Small spaces
Oceans/large bodies of water
Large animals
Small animals
Open spaces
Lightning
Thunder
Tornadoes
Clustered holes
Bodily fluids
Corpses

I have:
A friend with benefits
A television in my room
Good grades
My own car
Parents who are still married
A dog
A cat
A game console

#44 Old Times

Hello.

Henna shared a picture on ask where there was many of our friends since someone asked who she misses. There were few not as close friends which I don't care about, then she put up picture of Paula and was like "you! <3" then me: "this ihq"

Miia: "and her :3 <3"

Petra: "this person ;_; <3"

Vili: "him too ;_; <3 <3"

Like I was the only one who was left without a heart, she showed more love to them. She and Vili haven't even been so close these past times except now when they constantly talk in private chat. I don't like it at all when people, especially Vili, say that I wanna tell you something or private --->. Like why cant you speak in the public? I understand if its something related to that fic and they don't want to reveal anything but if its something else then why not talk to me? Vili haven't talked to me in a long time.

Now I finally fixed my phones thing, my GPS wasn't on so that why Grindr and Tinder didn't work. So far only old and fat people have contacted me (2) so no difference there. I went again to Planet Romeo and Qruiser so maybe I could finally find someone, maybe just someone nice who can just fuck me or something but I only attract old and fat people and I'm also scared of STD's and I want to get to know that person so that I can be relaxed with him. Well see how things turn out.

Someone in Twitter wants me to come with him to Skype so we can jerk off together. I said yes without any hesitation even tho I have never liked it because its so unpleasant and I don't jerk off that way. I told him I would make an new account and let him know then but I guess I will just say no. This reminded me of Lauri, a guy who I met in Qruiser long time ago when I was younger and hornier, he was supposed to take my virginity. We spoke many times in Messenger when it was still working. We even used cam, I remember how he was at work and raised his shirt up for me. Maybe I should contact him again...

#43 Third Time Speaks The Truth

Hello.

The day of alcoholic people is here, Vappu. So far I haven't seen anyone post a status that is complaining about hangover, you know what you're doing so don't complain about the consequences biatch. I went to the store with dad to hunt down the Soul Eater part 11, I didn't find it in S-Market so I went to the R-kioski to look for it, I asked them if they had the part 11 but no. So I missed that one, now I have to buy it on internet or from a Con. I was thinking about this manga stuff. I could not buy last months things so that I could buy them from Desucon but I don't know... why this has to be so hard. I cant wait to get a job so that I don't have to rely on parents with stuff like this.

About this one course that I have now, we were supposed to buy this handout and its the shittiest thing ever. I was doing one task and it said look from pages 14-18 and the answer was on page 11... Like are you fucking kidding me? I looked through those 5 pages three times and then the fact is like this. Could you fucking make proper assignment for fucks sakes? When I was tired of looking up the answers I started to scroll my phone for some porn and the teacher complained about me using my phone. What else can I do if I get frustrated and tired of looking, I found the answer later tho.

Nea is probably in now with bad relationship with Tommi, I think I am little gleeful about that. She tho now is getting to know Konsta, a guy from our school, and apparently he is sending some sweet messages to her. I saw Konsta on the first school day and I drooled him cause he was so cute and now he may have something with Nea. I guess that Julia and Nea wont talk about nothing but their boyfriends. Tho I am very exited to know what will happen if they start dating.

Now I'm on a little vacation since I decided to skip Friday's lessons cause I have a free day on Thursday so why would I go to school when I even wont miss anything and I get to skip one Swedish lesson. I am like the most active student in my class so I deserve a little skip. After this vacation there's school left only 15 days when you take out weekends, free days and the last week since its more doing nothing, cant wait! Miia is also coming here for 4 days next week so we'll see what will happen then.

One more rage. I am tired of Instagram's shit, they deleted my account again, my third account and there even wasn't that bad nudity. You could not see cocks, only abs, asses and underwear guys. They don't even warn you that they will delete it if I wont make any changes, they just say that we deleted something but they don't tell what. Then I cant even restore it and I cant use the e-mail again or the account name... Fuck you Instagram. I don't know if I'll make another one with only like underwear guys and stuff, minimum porn cause I have to make up everything and collecting followers is so slow compared to my first channel where I got +100 followers over night.

Now I see some angst posts on Tumblr as I expected from Nea. :D