I have this bad habit that I sometimes do. Its cumming in the middle of the day. I wanted to scroll my Twitter and ofc it made me horny and I was laying in bed so I couldn't resist the good feeling that cumming gives you. But the bad side is that I cum in my boxers so it will stink and feel annoying. I gotta get rid of that. I also discovered some kind of lump on my penis and it hurt, I couldn't cum because of it and touching wasn't easy. Its now gone better tho and that made me cum in the day which is bad. I had to wash the cum area and change my boxers into my white Calvin Klein boxers, I cant remember when was the last time I used them.
I asked money from my mom to get to capital and she said that I have to use my own money cause that why I have it. Well I don't fucking have it, I used all of it to my new phone and the rest are given as a loan to people. Then she said that I have to come home for night or my trips will end here. For fucks sakes I'm going to Helsinki, been there million times, lived there 13 years. I could easily sleep at granma's but no.
Then there is this guy Anton,so we are done. He hasn't replied to my messages so fuck that asshole, I just would like to know why, why he was a pussy.
I went to the store to ask how much it would cost to repair my screen and they said that it would cost over 100 euros and I was like fuck yeah. So I decided to take a look of what they had in their store at the moment, good thing I took all my money with me. I looked at all the phones but everything cost over 100 euros and I was getting desperate, until I sad it. Samsung Galaxy Trend Plus was just 100 euros, so I decided to take it. I also bought new cover case for it since my old was breaking apart and ugly.
It has new operating system which I really don't like, I liked the older one a lot more but at least its a lot faster now, I guess. Also the new blue cover looks amazing and cool, makes me feel so swag in a way, I don't know how to describe it. I had to download all the apps back and over 100 songs but its okey. I posted about my phone on Instagram when I got it to work and Julia came and laughed at that picture and asked me on whatsapp am I pissed off. I wasn't really but her bitchy attitude was really childish, I removed the comment and didn't answer her.
Most embarrassing thing happened on a way home that day. I was just walking and listening to music when these two boys came across and yelled "retarded" at me and then to car driver. I looked at them like what the fuck little hoes. Who's the retarded here? I'm not the one yelling at people with retarded tone voice, fucking little piece of shits. If they tried to make feel bad then nope, only a huge amount of shame on them.
One last thing, I was taking a morning shower and at the end of that as always I filled my ass up with water. I thought that it all just came out and that's it, tho I felt little pressure that I had to take two immediately. I first dried myself up and put on boxers and then went to the toilet, when I took them off, almost before I even sat on the toilet, everything came out. Like gurl, there was water coming out with shit. I didn't even notice that there was water inside, pretty a lot, maybe my ass was keeping it in so well. Well at least it cleaned up totally, I have never experienced something like that but now I should experience it every time to make sure that everything comes out.
So this day was all ok, if we don't count my brother being an asshole again, until I decided to go out to swing. Since I had downloaded many new songs to my phone I wanted to go and listen to them. I only listened to few of them when my phone fell down on the ground, on sand and the screen broke down. It has crushed on much harder surfaces and nothing happened, but on sand? Ofc it had to brake down.
First it was pretty ok but when I closed it and opened it again I couldn't even open it and it just went wild. I still listened to all of the songs and then I went home. I told mom that we have to take it to get fixed and she was like "take it, you have money". Like for gods sakes, do you know how much its going to cost? I'm gonna lose all my money. I'm gonna ask in the store how much its going to cost, if its too much I will buy new one. I still will lose every single penny, thanks mom... Well she will then pay my trip to Helsinki.
Luckily its summer because I would have gone mad in school. Still if it takes time, I'm going to have tons of pictures in Twitter and I will totally neglect my brand new Instagram account. Fucking "modern" technology. Gotta get through this with Jamie Lynn Spears' all new and good music and Taeyang's soon to be released new album.
So the summer has officially started since all the 9 graders have gotten their numbers and so on. My first year at business college has also ended. There is a lot of good memories but there's always bad with the good. I cant understand how one year went so fast, I remember going to school one hour early and shaking like hell. How I've grown into my new classmate friends, and also a little bit of hate.
I went to school on Friday for one more day, to get my 1st year graduation paper and to eat a donut and a cookie. Then I went home and met my brother near to our secondary school, he bought this just released game Watch Dogs. So we walked home together and talked some shiet and stuff. We played it for few hours, then our grams arrived so we stopped playing and went so hi. After that I was feeling very sleepy so I decided to rest my eyes. I went to "rest" about 6 pm and woke up at 10 pm, so I decided to really go to sleep. I even saw many dreams, which is unusual for me.
So today I woke up 8 am but I rose out of bed about 10 am. When I was on computer doing my things, my brother came into my room and told me to come help with something. He didn't tell with what so I didn't hurry at all and because of he decided to piss me off really badly. By hitting and touching me, pushing my computer and taking off my headphones of the computer, and my speaker is broken so it crackles. How stupid can you be to not to know that it definitely wont make me move. When I tell him to stop, no, ofc he wont. He will just keep on pissing me off cause he always, cause he is fucking dum that way. Asshole.
I also made an new Instagram account. This time I will try to not to get banned by posting non penis photos. I posted my first picture three days ago and I already have almost 100 pictures and 153 followers.
Our photoshoot pictures came too and I look horrible, my hair was just fucked up from the front, back and on top. Good thing to first to make do once I wake up is to get me ready for the photoshoot, ofc I would look like shit.
About that guy I told about who I met in Qruiser, hes name is Anton. Apparently his phone didn't inform him about new messages in Kik so that's why he didn't reply to me. He seems such a nice guy and even to like me with my body hair. But he doesn't reply anymore, he hasn't even read the messages. He told me that he would check once in a while but no no no ofc he wont, idiot. I don't know if I should message him on Qruiser cause I already did once and I don't want to seem clingy. But I sent him the last message on Thursday so maybe its a good time gap.
One last thing, I'm really starting to hate Jere. Because he reads the messages but wont reply. Like Henna is having hard time, he reads it but wont reply like aren't you a magnificent guy, I see you care a lot. When he puts some messages, they are often very bitchy or immature. He doesn't even belong there as I said last time. Another thing that I noticed is that he, Vili, Miia or Petra haven't liked my new profile picture on Facebook. I understand Petra since were kinda like enemies but Miia and Vili. You should like your friends stuff on Facebook, especially these big ones to show that you like them and are interested in them. Vili liked Riko's picture tho and she posted it later than me so thanks for being a "bestfriend" tho I haven't kept him as an bestfriend for a long time but I cant say it cause I don't wanna hurt his feelings or start and question wave and shit.
My brother got his grades today and he got a stipend witch included 40 euros about the best basic subjects of his school. He then came to my room and bragged that he is better in school than me. Well first of all, we go to different schools and different examinations so you cant compare those two and I was always the better one in school. So don't think that you are better than me in your examination.
I was getting ready for going outside when my brother came in to my room and I was in the middle of scrolling through porn pics on Twitter. He sat next to and was being annoying and shit so he made me really mad. Then when I was going outside, my mom started asking questions, then I went to see how much was it raining, well too much so I couldn't go outside. Then mom started to yell at me that don't go and why are you on your socks walking outside and ugh, made me even more mad. So I went to computer to live my porn life and to be pissed off. Luckily I got to go outside for about two hours later on.
Then for the final thing. I read yesterday that Benjamin Peltonen will be recording an album and I was like what and decided to look up some singing videos, well I didn't find any but I went to his Instagram account and fell in love with him. Hes such a perfect looking guy, I have to start stalking him from now on.
I haven't been writing in a week anything except that question thing. I could have wrote something but yeah, I didn't and I didn't. School has been really fun with these last days. We took nice pictures, sat outside and played at the playground which was very funny. I have passed all the courses and tests. Today was the last day with 2 hours being in school. I was really afraid of the presentation we had to perform today because he was supposed to ask questions about the presentation but he didn't, luckily. Next time I have to go to school is Friday to get my certificate of my courses.
I was also thinking when I was coming back home about the thing that I only attract sad people to my life. Am I like a karma's gift to these sad people that I'm supposed to bring happiness to their life? Well sorry but I wont take that anymore cause I'm tired of that everyone are just sad. Everyone are sad in a way or another, especially in the group chat, and my school friends too like wtf people stop being so WEAK.
Also another thing that is annoying me is how people check what someone writes in the group chat but wont say anything, then their stupid name is just written in end. Especially Petra's and Jere's names are particularly annoying because they do it most. The chat isn't the way it was, everyone are just bitches and everyone, except me, have left the chat and then came back, some of them more than once. And with Jere being there, its not family chat anymore. Hes such a random person and there's no family-like feeling towards that person, hes just a stranger. I only accepted him there because I hated how they only put messages into that chat where Jere were and they were totally ingnoring everyone who weren't in that chat, even if Jere wasn't even there to read those messages. I think that tells something about our non-existing group spirit.
I also finally found a cute normal guy from Qruiser, like I have been waiting for him since forever. Finally someone nice looking of my own age shows interest towards me. But he is apparently only looking for gay experiences so I'm not sure if I can get a boyfriend of him. He is apparently bi, also, so that's a negative side since I can lose him to any girl if he doesn't like my outer appearance. But even bigger problem is that he doesn't even message me. I messaged him in the morning and he replies when I go to sleep, like wtf man? Don't you use your phone all the time? How am I supposed to build a relationship with him when he doesn't even talk? Sometimes I even think what am I doing when no one in the internet doesn't seem like a good boyfriend or I'm not enthusiastic to keep in touch with them, if I even get a message. I would want to find a guy in real life but its a fucking impossible thing to a gay guy = =
